you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
