Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
