i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
