Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My penis needs a shock collar
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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