Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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