Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
