got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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