Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
