When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
