literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
