You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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