ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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