their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
