Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize