Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
