i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
