I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
