but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
