Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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