And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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