You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
