it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize