I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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