Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
