But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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