This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize