i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
