Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
