Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
