After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
