Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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