This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
