Non-Jews are for practice
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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