how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
