I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize