remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
