are you still at the devil's house?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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