he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
