his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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