They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Houston, we have a squirter
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
