He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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