is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize