my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
