its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
