He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
