remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
