yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
