I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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