Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
