so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
