end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
