yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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