I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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