i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
