Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
