The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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