she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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