Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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