I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
