Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
