margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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