i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize