yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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