HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
