Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
