you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
wow bdsm is so cute
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I see more hoeing in ur future
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
