hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
